Day 2

6:40am

I slept later than I wanted to, around 10pm yesterday, but still committed to waking up early around 5:20am. I think I only woke up once during the night because I accidentally kicked my blanket off me so I woke up cold to put the blanket back over me. Other than that I would say I slept through the night, which was a big win for me considering my restless sleep the night before.

I was actually bone tired going to bed so I probably snoozed right after I hit my pillow (which meant that I didn’t get a restful sleep the night before). I resisted naps all of yesterday. I didn’t wake up extremely groggy today. I’d say fixing my sleep schedule is going pretty well and it’s only day 2!

First thing I did as I went to my bathroom, was take a peek out the front window. Yup, my front neighbor is already up and about. 👋

I was feeling slightly more energetic this morning, so I didn’t need my morning shower, could be because I took a right before bed shower yesterday anyways (yup, that was my second shower of yesterday). I wasn’t energetic enough to work out though. I would eventually like to form a habit of working out in the morning (or perhaps in the afternoon), but I’m focusing on slow habit forming progress and trying not to overwhelm myself. I did exercise last night though: 30 minute treadmill, some incline, with a 5 lb vest (working my way up to 10 lb).

5 lb is about how much my fur baby weighs and when I take her out with me, I carry her in my cross over dog purse. Speaking of which, I finally gave Sev a bath yesterday. I felt like that took a huge load off my shoulder. Lets just say by the end of her bath, I’m completely drenched down to my underwear and water everywhere. She clearly hates it, so I put it off as long as I can but that also means it’s always in the back of my head nagging at me that she needs a bath. But i’m good for a few weeks now.

I spent the majority of yesterday familiarizing myself with wordpress (how to upload an image and what not) and finalizing how I want my blog/landing page to look. That felt pretty good to me. I felt accomplished. I learned something new: wordpress. And I posted my first blog post for this new chapter of mine. I may never get views, but I’m kinda enjoying reflecting in the early mornings like this, like I look forward to it. Basically it’s the first “productive” thing I do in the morning. Or maybe it’s one of those “new and shiny things” that will eventually ware off with time. (hello negativity)

Yesterday evening, I went out with my big brother’s family to dine with my little step brother. I noticed that while driving to my brothers, I felt kinda anxious. Kind of melancholy. A little depressed? I’m not sure. I wracked my brain for the reasons why I could be feeling this way. I wasn’t anxious of meeting my family or my step brother. I’m not anxious about driving or being scared I’ll get into an accident. I thought maybe it was work because I was thinking of how work was going for others (I’m on vacation).

I think this is a reoccurring theme for me. Whenever I am out and about during the night, I tend to feel a mixture of anxiety and depression. Maybe it was the time. I think I tend to get more anxious/depressed during evenings?

I’ve been trying to acknowledge and notice when and where I’m feeling off per my therapist. That’s my homework from my therapist. Journal my feelings. Acknowledge my feelings. Explore my feelings. (Because I’ve been suppressing/ignoring my feelings).

I have a counseling session this Thursday with my therapist, maybe she’ll have answers for me or probe me with the right questions and have an aha moment. Who knows.

It is now 8:08am. Not bad, considering I finished my yesterday post around 11am something. I am off to start learning a new hobby that I’ve been wanting to learn: digital art on my iPad with Procreate app. I purchased Alex Kunchevsky’s course. I think he sometimes have discount codes advertised on his instagram profile.