8:06am
Do you ever have one of those days where you “just can’t”. You can’t be bothered to do anything. Nothing goes right. You kinda feel ok. Kinda feel like crap. Don’t know why. You just feel… cranky.
Today is one of those days. I swear I woke up feeling ok. Then I tried to do a morning workout (lifting weights). Entire workout, I’m triggered and my mindset is:
- I don’t want to do this
- This requires too much thought
- Is my form correct
- I don’t think my form is correct
- I’m too tired
- This is too much
- I hate sweating
- I just can’t today
- I have no patience
- And BIGGEST annoyance, is watching lifting demos. Nuisance because I have to re-watch several times to get it. Nuisance because the person in the demo has short torso and long legs… and I have long torso and short legs, so mimicking the demo doesn’t feel correct because our body type is different. I’M ANGRY! Reading the description doesn’t help because I don’t think they took long torso and short legged folks into consideration. I’m SO triggered!
Am I being irrational? Yes. Regardless, I pushed through my negativity and finished the workout, but it took double the time to finish because I wasted time internally whining and ranting. And I did NOT feel good afterwards. Even after I took a shower.
I feel like I’m on the verge of throwing a tamper tantrum.
This feels awful like PMS. I checked my cycles to see where I am at and I should start my period in about a week or week and a half. Well. There it is. I’m PMSing. The 1% where I don’t feel better after a shower… is when I’m PMSing. When I am irrationally negative, cranky, impatient, and annoyed is when I’m PMSing. When I’m PMSing, I just can’t be positive. Everything makes me angry, and everything is so hard to do. It feels similar to burnout really, except PMS is more intense (but at least short lived).
Relieved that I can blame it on PMS which makes me feel better. Annoyed that I was PMSing on my first attempt at lifting in a long time.
I shall report back in my next attempt at lifting and conclude if I developed a sudden immense HATRED for lifting, or I really was just PMSing.
Today, I’m just going to be a couch potato.
Leave a Reply